• Links

    LinkFoo work online from home
    business make money online opportunity
    learn spanish
    government grants
  • Meta

Archive for April, 2009

 
Thursday, April 30th, 2009

We never really got any training on how to apologize powerfully.  Sure, all of us know how to say I’m sorry.  But if you did your ex wrong and now you want them back, you’re going to need to say something much more powerful than I’m sorry.

There is a free course you can download instantly on this at Getting Your Ex Back In Hours.

There are much more impactful ways of apologizing, however.  When you’ve been dumped by your ex for wronging them in some way, you will need to use what can be called a Power Apology.

A power apology has as many as 7 or eight steps to it.   A power apology is designed to get your ex from anger or hurt to acceptance and forgiveness in just hours or sometimes even minutes.  Power apologies should be taught in school, they are so useful in keeping relationships from ending.  Here are the steps to a Power Apology:

The first step in a Power Apology is to own up to what you did wrong.  Don’t offer a bunch of stories or try to blame your ex “you were cold to me and I was drunk!”  Fessing up to what you did wrong is powerful, it lets you mate  know that you understand the core problem.

Step Two is to shadow their upset feelings.  This means that you tell them how what you did made them feel, as far as you understand it.  You’ll say something like “I know by cheating on you I made you feel betrayed and humiliated and furious…”  When you shadow or mirror their emotions, your ex will start to feel heard at a deep level, like you truly do understand what you did wrong.

The third step is to let them vent.  Now you let them tell you how they feel about what you did wrong.  You don’t argue, you dont defend yourself, you let them get their angry and hurt feelings off their chest.  Your only job here is to make them feel heard and understood.

To understand more about the power of venting, you can check out the information at a site on Relationship Intelligence.

If you have followed these first three steps, you are well on your way to making an apology that will get accepted and lead to forgiveness.  By this point you have not tried to blame or defend yourself to your ex for what you did wrong.  You have been an adult and taken responsibility.  At some level they will respect this.    Then you have surprised them by mirroring their feelings, so they are feeling like you understand them.  And finally, you have listened to them, let them vent and get things off their chest.

Finally you can now actually say I’m sorry and apologize.  Now it will likely get accepted by your ex.

Part 2 of this article discusses the steps to take after you’ve apologized, and it can be seen here at Get Ex Back Part 2.

 
Thursday, April 30th, 2009

family marriage counselor

There are numerous marriage counseling services at your disposal, whether you’re newly married or a seasoned veteran. Sometimes there are obvious signs of trouble, such as drug or alcohol abuse, sex addiction or physical abuse. These dire situations will not benefit from basic counseling for couples, but rather demand a more specialized program with licensed professional counselors who are trained to deal with these situations. For couples who simply feel their happiness waning, there are other marriage therapists available.

For many middle-aged couples, the arguments revolve around finances, careers and kids. If you or your spouse have debt problems, are big spenders or argue over who wields the power of the purse, then perhaps credit counselors can help eradicate the source of your frustration. Often, when we’re strapped for cash, we begin to act out of character and we may begin to communicate poorly because we’re afraid to face the facts. Prioritizing becomes exceedingly difficult if you are living penny to penny.

Additionally, career counselors can sometimes offer counseling for marriage. There may be arguments over retiring, changing jobs, re-entering the workforce after child rearing or not making a stable income. Lastly, disagreements over child rearing can tear at the very fabric of a marital bond, leaving the children to become the unfortunate casualties of such squabbles. A specialized family marriage counselor can help readjust your attitudes and focus, thus arming you with better parenting skills and unified goals.

For the worst situations, marriage counseling services must be specialized. There is precious little that someone who is trained in counseling for couples can do if one of the partners is beating the other mercilessly night after night. Instead, abuse counselors will work with the individual to find the triggers of this rage, teach other coping skills and help a person overcome their violent tendencies. The abused may then seek separate mental health counselors to overcome residual feelings of powerlessness, fear, resentment and self-blame. Once each person finishes extensive treatment, they may be ready for therapy aimed at couples to address communication barriers. Similarly, situations that become destructive due to one person’s alcohol or drug abuse issues will require rehabilitation counselors before counseling for the couple may begin.

Marriage counseling services for gay marriages may also be sought. Not all marriage therapists are trained to deal with the complex set of issues that come along with civil marriages or gay-lesbian-bisexual relationships. Just like any other relationship, gay couples can have a communication breakdown, suffer infidelity, or suffer differing perceptions on sex, co-parenting or friendships. The San Francisco Gay Couples Institute deals with local partners primarily but also offers special “Accelerated Relationship Repair” for those who are flying in for the weekend. For a more discreet approach, Lumient Counseling offers over-the-phone support and advice, as well as online therapy for about $2/minute. O’Mara and Associates, based out of Indiana, offers workshops in almost every state, as well as remote assistance if you’re not willing to fly. Many local communities where gay marriages are held also have pastoral counselors through the churches where civil unions are held.

 
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

same sex marriages

There have been approximately 247 licenses for same sex marriages given out in the US. While a gay or lesbian couple could not have been ceremoniously united until 1983 (in Denmark) or until 2004 in the United States, researchers have been looking at same sex relationships for decades. They point out that gays and lesbians argue over the same sort of things as heterosexual couples do. However, their conflict styles differ, their relationship success rates are higher and they have a myriad of issues specific to same sex couples. It’s no surprise, then, that a need would open up for counseling for civil marriages.

In some ways, a same sex marriage will suffer the same trials and tribulations as their heterosexual counterpart, as both will argue about finances, power struggles, household chores, child rearing, autonomy and intimacy. Also, a 2008 study by the American Psychological Association found that same sex couples are just as happy and committed in their romantic relationships as heterosexual couples.

However, there are also a few differences between those in same sex marriages and those in heterosexual marriages. For instance, gay and lesbian couples fight less over finances because they’re more likely to have two incomes and separate bank accounts. Instead of finances, power struggles are the most common source of conflict for same sex couples. Even so, gay and lesbian couples have a more egalitarian division of labor, more autonomy and higher levels of positive problem solving than their heterosexual counterparts. While same sex couples may have an advantage over heterosexual couples, it is still recommended that they see certified counselors before tying the knot to perfect their communication and problem solving skills to weather the complex issues that may come their way.

Politically, widespread legalization of same sex marriages still has a long way to go. Religious leaders outwardly condemn such unions, arguing that we must “preserve the sanctity of marriage.” Other strict interpreters of the law argue that marriage is defined as “the union between a man and a woman,” and therefore cannot include civil marriages between man and man or woman and woman. Even so, many other politicians and members of society feel that discrimination based on sexual orientation is unjust and unfair. They advocate for same sex benefits and unions that are not called “marriage” to bridge the gap.

 
Sunday, April 26th, 2009

marriage family counselors

Numerous studies have been done over the years to uncover the major struggles that married couples have at various stages of life, some of these disagreements delivering the deathblow of divorce. For young couples, money seems to be the major source of strife, in addition to household chores as they adapt to new roles. For middle-aged couples, it’s how to raise the children and for seniors, it’s who will retire first. While it may seem a personal matter, an impartial marriage counselor can lend an ear and some expertise to help you endure these waves to find increased marital satisfaction. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, the counselors say, as couples who weather the storm celebrate their golden years as the happiest time of their lives.

You should endeavor to find a marriage counselor to help you avoid painful emotional outbursts. If you or your spouse spends any amount of time shouting at each other, crying or getting stuck in a constant cycle of derision and nagging, then counseling for marriage can help. Secondly, certified counselors provide added motivation to complete your plan to regain that romantic love again. Sometimes another person’s faith that your efforts will be successful is all you need to believe it yourself. While these may seem like things you might be able to do on your own, the third reason to seek counseling is to gain access to knowledge and strategies to help you achieve your goals. Over the years there have been many studies into human behavior, which can help us recognize our patterns of behavior and remedy the underlying causes of our feelings.

Exercise care when choosing a marriage counselor. Not all marriage therapists are licensed, certified, or specializes in couples counseling for marriage. Most states mandate that licensed therapists have a master’s or doctoral degree, graduated marriage training and have gained credentials from the Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, so ask about these things when calling around. You may be able to get recommendations from your health insurer, your physician, local clergy or friends. Before attending a session, you’ll want to find out the cost and what’s covered by health insurance, as well as the duration and frequency of the sessions. Find out how many sessions you’re expected to attend and what happens if you need to cancel or reschedule.

The cost of a marriage counselor varies greatly. Rates range from $75-$200 per hour, although some therapists will offer a sliding scale based on income. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, the average cost for counseling is about $100 per one-hour-session. Typically, you’ll go in once a week for the first three months, which will run you $1200 for that period of time. Compared to psychiatrists and psychologists, family counseling is 60-80% cheaper. Additionally, the use of counseling for marriage has been show to reduce health care by 21.5%. Also consider that divorces range from as low as $1,500 for a wholly uncontested divorce to $30,000 if it goes to court. According to Smart Money Magazine, the average cost is around $8,000 for an out-of-court settlement. Suddenly seeking certified counselors sounds like a practical idea, doesn’t it?

 
Saturday, April 25th, 2009

certified counselors

Research indicates that family marriage counseling is particularly effective in treating adult Schizophrenia, mood disorders, adult alcoholism and drug abuse, behavioral disorders in children, teenage drug abuse, anorexia, childhood autism, chronic illnesses and marital conflict. Sometimes the root cause or cycle of dysfunction is obvious, but other times it takes a professional to illuminate the intricate dynamics of cause-and-effect, action-and-reaction. Through family and marriage therapy, family members learn how to better understand one another and cope with complex issues to become a stronger, more cohesive unit.

A professional who is licensed in marriage and family counseling is someone who is trained in psychotherapy and family systems, as well as someone who is licensed to diagnose and treat mental disorders. On average, family and marriage therapists will have thirteen years or more of clinical practice in their field and hold a Master’s or Doctoral degree in marriage therapy and family counseling. Since 1970, the number of marriage family counselors has burgeoned from 237 to 23,000, who are licensed in 48 states and are actively treating more than 1.8 million people.

Studies show that clients of family marriage counseling are extremely satisfied with these services, with 98% citing their sessions as either “good” or “excellent” (Doherty & Simmons). They report improvement in work productivity, coworker relationships, family relationships, spousal relationships, as well as improved community social lives. Almost 90% of those receiving treatment reported an improvement in emotional health and two-thirds reported an improvement in their overall physical health. In cases of child deviance, 73.7% of the cases resulted in improvement in parent-child relationships, improved child behavior and improved school performance. In cases of physical or mental illness, substance abuse and disruptive behavior, certified counselors can be a huge asset.

Kids and teens often act out in strange ways; taking drugs, falling sullen, expressing anxiety, eating too much or too little, engaging in premature sexual activity, acting out in school or acting disobediently towards their parents. Often, their parent’s reaction to this sort of behavior can exacerbate the situation, even though most parents just want what is best for their child. According to the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, family marriage counseling has demonstrated profound effectiveness in the areas of conduct disorders, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, eating disorders and understanding attention problems.

Brace yourself, I am about to reveal some powerful strategies on how to get an ex boyfriend back. These might even shock you because most ladies when making an attempt to get an ex boyfriend back utterly ignore these. These type of break ups are hard to deal with. You won’t stop brooding about the situation and you’re going thru a consistent torture. The thing is that in most relations after they have stopped, both partners at the rear of their minds wish to get back together again.

I have put together some pointers for ladies who are lost as to how to get an ex boyfriend back, and these will definitely help you to get the ball rolling.

After a break it is ordinary to feel agonizing and  hurt. Don’t attempt to hide the pain you’re going through. If you’re feeling like crying, cry to your heart’s content. Do not try to suppress it, as by suppressing it you will throw yourself into a state of depression. By permitting yourself to miss, this could help you heal the agony awfully quickly.

After the dust has settled a bit and you are clear in your judgement, sit down and have a think over the last events and attempt to pin down what went incorrect. This will help you realise what were the issues that caused the break up, which is the first step to get an ex boyfriend back. It’ll also bring to light as to whose fault it was, and if you are feeling you had a more contributing role to the break up then this is your opportunity to put your hand up, accept that you definitely made a mistake, and learn from it.

More frequently than not, break ups are due to certain personality characteristics or bad habits. If you realize that the break up was due to one of your traits or bad habits then this is your chance to determine if you can change yourself or give up that certain bad habit.

If you feel the break up was due to your ex boyfriend’s fault or one of his character marks or bad habits then be aware of that and when you meet up you might raise this point and see what he needs to say to this.

Many ladies refuse to act on this tip point blank. But if you are actually serious about find out how to get my ex boyfriend back then this one methodology can go a long way. And that is to pamper him and send him gifts, you will even need to let him know that you actually miss him. But only do this when they are actively listening to you and the best time for this could be a few weeks after the break up.
.

You and your significant other are a team, and as such the two of you need to keep in mind that taking one another for granted is a bad thing. relationship advice may not be very easy to accept, but sometimes a helping hand is needed. Becoming complacent can spell danger for your relationship, so you do need to make an effort in order to keep the magic alive between the two of you. The appreciation of your cherished partner needs to be returned in order for your love to survive and evolve. It can’t just be one sided.

Remember the start of your relationship? What was it that first attracted you to each other? Your loved one still has many of those same attributes, even though circumstances may have changed in your lives. They are the same person, and so are you. Older and slightly wiser you both may be, but you are still meant to flush a little at the sight of your significant other. There are many ways you can keep things romantic for the both of you.

Maybe the two of you could relive the early days of your time together- if not in the same places, then at least with some similar activities. Go to a show, to dinner, a movie, a certain place, anywhere that will help you share special memories of your early times together. Reminiscing should not be limited to Valentine’s Day and birthdays! Perhaps you could book a day off from work together, and just stay in, curtains drawn, talking about the past, present and future from the warmth of each other’s arms. How does that sound? Togetherness doesn’t have to be expensive.

The important thing is to take each other’s feelings and desires into account each day, not to ignore and take them for granted. The people involved in the perfect relationship are much more important than status symbols or indeed anything else superficial. Be there for them, love them and let them know you care. Appreciate one another, treat each other with respect and affection, and the magic of your relationship will be sure to live on.

There are many types of spy equipment on the market. The most useful, however, may be the real time gps tracker.

Real Time GPS - With a real time GPS tracker you can get all the same information that a GPS logger will provide. However, through the use of website based software, accessed via the internet, or even a cell phone you will be able to see where the tracker is right now in real time. For example your partner calls you and says he/she has to work late. You could simply log onto the website and see where his/her car is right now and not after the fact.

There are may models of real time GPS on the market. One of the main things that you want to be aware of is the monthly subscription fees. When you purchase the tracker you will have to subscribe to a website to access the software to get locations and history reports. The monthly fee can range from $19 per month to $89 per month depending on the company used and the amount of usage.

Battery life could be the single biggest factor in choosing a real time GPS tracker. Many of the smaller GPS tracker’s batteries will only last 6-8 hours depending on how often the tracker is set up to report it’s location. Always take into account how long the tracker will stay on the vehicle before you can change the batteries.

One of the most reliable and cost effective GPS units on the market is the Trim Trac Pro Real Time Tracker. It has a battery life of up to 90 days and is totally self contained. There are no wires or GPS antennas to mount hide or worry about. Simply place it in or on the vehicle and start tracking.

Some trackers can text the current location to a cell phone without having a subscription. The only problem with this is that the global coordinates are all that you get in most cases. If you have internet access and a computer you could use Google Earth to translate the coordinates onto a map, otherwise the text may be useless to you.

When placing the GPS tracker on the vehicle there are several things to consider.

  1. The tracker must be able to communicate with the satellites and the cellular towers. The GPS tracker cannot be completely enclosed by metal. Most of the time putting the tracking device in the trunk is not a good idea. Under a seat or in the glove box will almost always work. The tracker can be put under the vehicle in some cases but is not the best option. When under the car it should be placed as close to the outside edge as possible and keep as many sides of the tracker free from obstructing metal as you can.
  2. Easy removal. Be sure that you can easily remove the tracker from the vehicle. You will need to change the batteries occasionally. Putting the tracking device inside of the car could be a mistake if you do not have easy access to change the batteries.

If you need to know where your spouse is spending there time away from home a real time GPS tracker could be the answer. Good luck.

There are few people in the world who are 100% satisfied with all of their interpersonal relationships. We all have some person, or some kind of relationship (with friends, family, or lovers for example) that we want to improve. Understanding the difference between influence and control when it comes to how your relationships play out is the first step in improving any and all of your relationships. Let’s see why.

Every time people interact in any way, they influence each other. Think about it. Anything you do or say with or to another person influences them. What specific effect our interaction may have can vary, but every time with interact with anyone, both of us are affected in some way. Even if (particularly if) you ignore someone completely, that response affects how they think and feel. If you’re going to master the fine art of having great relationships, you need to get it firmly embedded in your head that every single interaction you have with a person affects them in some way, and affects you too.

The other term we want to discuss is control. If you think about this one, you really have no control over anyone else. You may have all sorts of ways to try and get someone to do what you want (to influence their behavior), but if they really don’t want to do it, you can’t control them. You can’t make them do something if they really don’t want to do it. So you influence someone whenever you interact with them, but you can never force them to do anything.

Too many of us try to control others and force them to do what we want them to do, instead of influencing them to want to do what we want them to. You can’t force someone to want to be with you. If anything, even trying to do so will likely influence them negatively. But at the same time, you can use your interactions with others to try and influence them to see things your way, and perhaps do what you want them to do. If we learn to influence people better, our relationships will surely be better and your chances of having the kind of relationship you want is greatly increased. Most people never seem to learn the difference, but if you do, relationship mastery and all the benefits it brings will be within your reach.

Understanding the roles influence and control play in any relationship is only a fraction of what you will learn in the Relationship Mastery portion of the Law to Success Mastery program. To learn more about this powerful program, please visit the Law to Success Review at http://TheLawToSuccess.com/

 
Saturday, April 18th, 2009

If you’re even remotely interested in getting your ex back, then this article is going to show you how you can do it. Specifically, we’re going to talk about why you must not be needy, how to work out why she left you, and how you can get her friends to “fight you corner”. When you’ve finished reading this article, you’ll have some basic steps to follow for knowing how to get your ex girlfriend back.

A crucial thing to keep in mind if you’re trying to get your girlfriend back, is to not act in a needy or desperate way when you’re around her. If you act in either of these ways, it is going to be far more difficult to win her back. This also means you can’t leave hundreds of voice mails and text messages on her phone, either. While this make stroke her ego and make her happy, it won’t make you more desirable to her.

Next, you need to find out the reasons why she left you. Perhaps you already know why. Did you do something she considered wrong? Was the reason for the break up forgivable? Did the relationship just fizzle out and lose the excitement? You need to work out what caused the breakup, and see if you can change it. If you want to,  you can change and try to repair your relationship.

Finally, you can possibly get her friends to “persuade” her that she made the wrong decision. You need to ask yourself whether you had a good relationship with her friends. Were they keen on you? Whether she realizes or not, there’s a good chance that her friends have a big impact on who she decides to be in a relationship with. If her friends like you, and think she shouldn’t have left you, it’s going to be much easier for you to fix things. If her best friends think she made the right decision by leaving you, then it could be harder to win her back.

In conclusion, this article has given you some useful things to consider if you’re trying to get your ex girlfriend back. Specifically, these things were why you shouldn’t be desperate or needy, how to work out why she left you, and how getting her friends on your side can be a big help to winning her back. Now that you’ve read this article, you should be able to develop your own strategy for winning your ex girlfriend back.

?>